World Premier: Night of the Living Trees

Aug 12, 2007 |  by  |  Craftsman Archives  |  Share

dsc062052 World Premier: Night of the Living TreesThe dead elm is now truly dead and the stumps are no more. This past Friday the tree dudes came out with their cherry picker, wood chipper, and stump grinder and in a matter of two hours had taken care of business. About and hour into the job the owner of the company rapped on our door. I joked with my wife that he would be coming in to say, “I noticed some of your other trees could use some trimming. I can take care of it right now for an extra 20 bucks.” You know, the typical add some extra cash onto your tab kind of ploy.

Turned out to be $150. And instead of trimming the trees he wound up cutting a major branch off the extremely large oak tree on the side of our house. He pointed out a hole you could see that went through the entire branch, which was 10-12 inches in diameter. According to him this meant the branch was dead and could wind up falling on my head (the last part of that was my conclusion, not his). That’s quite alright. As I’ve said before, no branches will be crashing my noggin anytime soon. But since I wasn’t expecting to shell out an extra $150 I left it up to my wife.

“I’m OK with it either way.” After all this guy was a certified arborist – he must know what he’s talking about, right? So my wife went out to take a look and came back in with a half scowl on her face.

“Man, I hate spending money on this kind of stuff,” she vented in frustration.

“So you told him to go ahead and do it?” I asked.

“Yeah, but I also told him that it sucks having to do this.”

I couldn’t help but think how awesome that was for her to say that to the guy…well, at least now he knows, right?dsc062102.thumbnail World Premier: Night of the Living Trees

The whole family sat there looking out our bay window, as though we were watching a film on the big screen and the men working in front of us were cast in the movie. And what a grand movie it was. As the $150 branch came crashing to the ground our eyes widened and mouths fell open as we screeched in dsc062092.thumbnail World Premier: Night of the Living Treeshorror at the hollow insides of the now dismembered tree. The master tree dude stood above the fallen limb and pointed down upon it as if to say, “No more, vile branch…no more.” And with that he looked up with a hero-like smirk and gave a confident thumbs up in our direction. With pleasure I returned his gesture and could now sleep soundly knowing that no branches would fall today or anytime soon.

The evil stumps and living dead trees will haunt us no longer.

We are free…

Watch a clip of the movie below with my daughter providing commentary.

pixel World Premier: Night of the Living Trees

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